Money is one of the most common topics of conflict in a marriage. As a matter of fact, survey conducted by Institute for Divorce Financial Analysis showed 38% of divorces were due to financial issues. When couples don't communicate openly and honestly about their finances it can lead to resentment, distrust, and even divorce. In this article, I will list seven marriage destroying financial issues. I will then review a few steps you can take to improve the situation.
I: Lack of communication
This is the number one cause of financial problems in a marriage. If couples don't talk about their money, they're more likely to make decisions that are not in their best interests. For example, one partner may take out a loan without telling the other, or they may make major purchases without consulting each other. This lack of communication can lead to resentment, distrust, and bitterness.
II: Not pooling earnings
When couples keep their finances separate, it can create a lack of transparency and trust. For example, if one partner is making a lot of secret purchases, it can make the other partner feel like they are being left out or that their partner is not being honest with them.
If one partner is hiding financial information from the other, it can be a sign of a deeper problem. This may be a sign of infidelity, addiction, or gambling problems. Whatever the reason, hiding financial information is a major breach of trust and can damage the marriage irreparably.
Of course, not pooling earnings doesn't automatically mean that a marriage will be harmed. However, it is important to be aware of the potential risks and challenges involved.
III: Carrying old debts
Carrying old debts creates stress among marriages for many reasons. For one, if one or both partners have a lot of debt, it can lead to financial stress, which can lead to arguments and disagreements. Second, if there is debt undisclosed, trust issues could ensue. Third, there is reduced financial freedom, making it difficult for couples to save for the future, take vacations, or make other financial goals. This can lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment, and can make it difficult to enjoy life together. In some cases, debt can even lead to bankruptcy, which can further damage the marriage.
IV: Ignoring personality differences
When two people have different approaches to money, it can be difficult to make decisions together and to agree on how to spend and save. This can lead to arguments, disagreements, and even financial infidelity.
One partner may be a saver, while the other may be a spender. This can lead to conflict over how money is allocated. For example, the saver may want to put money away for retirement, while the spender may want to use it for more immediate purchases.
V: Power Struggle
When one partner has more control over the finances than the other, it can lead to resentment and power struggles. This is especially true if the partner with less control feels like they are not being heard or respected. This can lead to arguments over how money is spent and saved, and it can make it difficult for partners to feel like they are on the same team.
VI: Disagreements around growing your family
When partners disagree about whether or not to have children, or how many children to have, it can lead to conflict and arguments. This conflict can be about anything from the financial cost of raising children to the division of labor once children are born.
Raising children can be expensive, and disagreements about how to pay for the costs of raising children can lead to financial stress. This financial stress can take a toll on the emotional well-being of both partners and make it difficult to enjoy each other's company.
VII: Involving extended family
When couples involve their extended family members in financial matters, it can lead to disagreements between the couple and their extended family members. These disagreements can be about anything from how money is spent to how decisions are made.
This is because extended family members may have different financial goals and priorities than the couple. This can make it difficult to make financial decisions and can lead to arguments.
If you are struggling with financial problems in your marriage, there are steps you can take to improve the situation.
Communicate openly and honestly about your finances. This includes sharing your income, expenses, and goals. It is important to be as transparent as possible with each other about your financial situation.
Be willing to compromise. This means being willing to meet in the middle and to give and take. It is important to remember that you are a team and that you need to work together to solve your financial problems.
Set financial goals together. This will help you to stay on track and to make sure that you are both working towards the same things. When you have specific goals in mind, it will be easier to make decisions about how to spend your money.
Create a budget and stick to it. A budget can help you to track your income and expenses and to make sure that you are not spending more money than you earn. There are many different budgeting tools and apps available, so you can find one that works for you and your partner.
Pay off debt as quickly as possible. Debt can be a major financial burden, so it is important to pay it off as quickly as possible. There are many different debt repayment strategies available, so you can find one that works for you and your partner.
Save for the future. It is important to save for retirement, emergencies, and other future expenses. There are many different savings vehicles available, so you can find one that fits your needs.
Seek professional help if you are struggling. If you are unable to resolve your financial problems on your own, you may want to seek professional help from a financial advisor or a marriage counselor. A financial advisor can help you to create a budget and develop a plan to pay off debt. A marriage counselor can help you to improve your communication skills and to resolve conflict.
The key is to tackle these issues up front and quickly. If you believe you are facing difficulties in your marriage due to financial stress, be sure to set a financial date to discuss as soon as possible.